27. The liminal space

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Hello darling heart and welcome to the drink less live better podcast. This is the podcast that helps you to see that drinking

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less doesn't need to be stressful, lonely or boring. I'm your host, Sarah Williamson, and I decided to have a year alcohol

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free as a little life experiment and haven't looked back. With my experience and training, I now help other women with their

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alcohol free or drink less adventures. I'm here to tell you that you can be truly joyful without alcohol in your life. Join

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me here each week to find out how. Today I'd like to tell you a story about getting ready to make a change. I spent several

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years in the time or space before I was ready to make my final decision about being alcohol free for a year. I was in a place

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where I was back and forth not quite ready to commit to the change. There's an area between spaces, transient places, compartments,

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corridors, chrysalises, where you move from one place to another, where the journey from a to b is made possible. We cannot

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click our fingers and become different immediately. We need the opportunity to think, to learn, to grow, and to develop, and

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that can all happen in this space, the magical space called the liminal space. We might go into this middle ground with eyes

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wide open to the change that's happening. You may know nothing of it until you were out the other side, or indeed you may

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never know you were in it at all. Any or all of these options are viable and lovely to think of. Whilst I am referring to

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my middle ground here with regards to my alcohol free life experiment, it could apply to so many different life scenarios.

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Changing careers, having children, choosing partners, deciding where to live, the in limbo, on the threshold feeling that

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comes with knowing you're stepping forward into something new. The liminal space is the middle bit, sometimes comfortable,

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sometimes not so. The place of transition, of neither here nor there, of uncomfortableness, questioning, not readiness, but

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looking back it's where the magic happened for me. I felt as if I was poised, ready for something different, but not knowing

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if I was really bold enough or ready enough. What if I made the leap and failed? Yes. What if what if what if came up a lot?

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And we know and love that voice, what if, don't we? It's sent from our brain to keep us safe from saber toothed tigers and

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the like from our dim and distant pasts, but also to keep us safe, perhaps, from thinking other people are judging us or misunderstanding

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us. I choose to see the liminal space I was in as a gathering and turning point. I asked myself questions. I thought long

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and hard, and when I was ready, I committed. I turned away from some old behaviors and accepted some new ways of being that

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I was sure were going to serve me better. Looking back, I was right, but I didn't know I was for sure at the time. I just

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made a choice, drew a boundary, and stepped forward out of the prison of indecision. I hadn't realized I'd been holding myself

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back until I chose to free myself. Of course, I was the only one holding myself back. No one else was responsible for that.

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While I was in the liminal space, I sought other people's opinions, I researched, I thought long and hard, I dismissed some

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feelings, challenged myself, and came eventually to a point of acceptance. It was a time of growth that was at times horribly

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unpleasant. I saw some thoughts as truths when they weren't. I told myself stories that were founded on shaky ground, and

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I asked myself endless questions to find out the reality of my situation, both past and present. I'm grateful now that I recognized

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the liminal space I was in, and I recognized it while I was in it too. Although I wouldn't have called it that back at that

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time. What did I call it? I called it the place of stuckness. It was the messy middle. I called it this because I thought

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I was stuck. I felt I was stuck. I behaved as if I was stuck. Poor me. I wasn't stuck. I was in between who I was then and

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who I am now. The place of stuckness was exactly where I needed to be then, although the liminal place does sound much better,

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and the place I am now is exactly where I need to be. If you're feeling a bit stuck, a bit in between, undecided, or untethered,

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try calling it the liminal space and find some comfort in the idea that you are moving in the perfect direction. Do you hear

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me? You're doing just perfectly. Thank you for listening to this episode. Please listen in again next time. You can sign up

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to my 5 day drink less experiment and find out about working with me one to 1 at drink less live better dot com. I'd love

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it if you could 5 star rate this podcast and leave me a review. All that chisel helps, you know. Thank you. And, PS, I believe in you.